(This post is about track 2 from the album Goodbye Party, titled Double Negative. It’s got a dirty word in it. Click here for the clean version, or here for the official music video.)
I mentioned this once already, (and most likely will do so many more times throughout the saga of anecdotes we’ve embarked upon) but finally releasing this album is a really strange experience for me.
The thing that’s probably weirdest about it is that a there are so many vivid memories and lyrical goodbyes to past love interests of mine. Yeah…there are some recurring characters throughout this Party of Goodbyes, you see.
One thing I’m hoping you’ll keep in mind while journeying through these narratives is that some of my lyrics were hijacked very directly from my experiences with specific people, and some include a little more poetic license.
On the subject of direct experience though, Double Negative is the song on Goodbye Party that is without a doubt the most true to reality, and for this reason it really means a lot to me. If you’ve been listening to my music for a little while, you’ll know that this song has already been out for quite some time (as well as the official music video for it), but I’m hoping this interpretation of its content can inspire you to bring a fresh pair of listening ears to it.
Mainly, I want to come clean and say that the “let down” boyfriend who wasn’t giving his counterpart a chance to “live out loud” in this song’s second verse is me. I’ve made plenty of mistakes in this experiment of a life, and the reality is that most of the big ones have been the fault of this gigantic fool I seem to always become upon falling in love. I’m not afraid to admit that I have a history of losing myself in relationships, and I’ve realized over the years that when I lose my sense of self in partnership with another, chances are good that the same thing is happening on the opposite end.
Time after time after time, I’ve fallen completely and totally for a female (usually a Libra, coincidentally enough), forgotten about everything important to me that isn’t love, and morphed with this person into a two-headed black hole of stagnancy. This, in contrast to what I believe a relationship can and should be – a powerful, positive partnership between two mutually self-aware, attracted, and intentional humans.
Lovers of the world, it’s possible!
I swear it!
I’ve seen it!
Don’t subject yourself to a partnership that doesn’t serve you.
Who knows if you’ll have another round at human life?
Please don’t waste this one while you’ve got it.
In the meantime, let it be known that I take full responsibility for a complete lack of care in relationship with a particular recurring character featured in this album. The mistakes I made in my time with her definitely aren’t limited to having kept her from living-out-loud, but hopefully this first apology will serve as a start. More to come, folks… more to come…
Big take-away point:
When you see that you’ve lost your life, take it back again.
Really, you’ve always got that power.
It’s never too late.
Other shouts out and credit to where it’s due:
The other character featured in this track’s second verse is my mentor, Kristoff Krane, who I will forever be grateful to for taking me under his wing and creating an artist out of me. I love you Chris, thanks again for everything.
The first verse features a good friend of mine, who I consider a sister of sorts. She taught me some huge lessons about integrity, self-love, and humility by walking out on her job as an exotic dancer a few hours before I met her for the first time.
This song (as well as the official music video for it) is dedicated to the late Cameron Dibben. The third verse is about members of his close circle of friends who showed me the power of community, friendship, and unconditional love by organizing an incredibly inspiring and beautiful event to commemorate his memory.